Me

Life seems to race by at quantum speed.  As I age, I recognize the beauty of taking in the scenery and enjoying the journey.  This new year, I am on a quest to detox myself emotionally and rid the "excess" garbage (for lack of a better word) that invades my space, my thoughts, and my perceptions.  It has been an uncomfortable stage but a necessary one.  I have filled my life with so much activity and when I have recently slowed the pace I realized then I must contend with myself.  As I examine and meditate, I see the areas I have covered with entertainment or hobbies.  This sounds really crazy but it is real and honest and where I am at...I do not know if I ever took the time to truly like me.  I have criticized others because in essence I am criticizing the person I see in the mirror.  This is not an I hate myself entry but a realization that I am the only me there is.  I have looked to others for approval without taking the time to check in with myself.  This only bred insecurity and fears which in turn well it has led to crap!  Literally!  I am God's creation, chosen and dearly loved.  I know this logically and I am ready to take back what I have allowed to be polluted.  This is not an overnight ah ha moment but one that takes a process of prayer and discipline in my thinking.  I am taking the time to wrestle with myself (my perceptions and self talk) and wow the clarity that comes after I do this.  God is showing me the beauty that is and can be.  It is easy for me to cram in stuff, activities, conversations.  It is a challenge for me to BE! I have cleared the deck and decided to go on this quest to learn about me, the one and only!