We are Amy and Gail Shingler, sisters-in-law and friends!

We are passionate about living authentic and intentional lives!

We are enthusiastic about healthy eating!

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Friday, September 7, 2012

becoming a whole person part 1

"Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you." 
i love reading unfiltered writers, i love reading what they are thinking and feeling as they are thinking and feeling it, i love feeling like i am a part of their 'processing through' whatever it is they are processing through, no matter how 'small,' immature, or undeveloped their thoughts as they begin...in fact, the smaller, more immature, and undeveloped their thoughts, THE BETTER, because then i feel like i am not alone in MY OWN small, immature and undeveloped thoughts...so, i am now going to write about love, unfiltered, and i may sound small, immature, and undeveloped as i begin...

becoming a whole person, which i think is a divine aspiration, involves constantly paying attention to, working on, and growing in the areas of mind, body and spirit, and "paying attention to, working on, and growing in" ANYTHING, is an ACTIVE process...understanding love is a big part of becoming a whole person...i think we think we understand love...the word gets thrown around A LOT!  in my own home i bet it is said to or about someone or something upwards of 30 times a day...i would not be pleased with my work as a parent if i did not facilitate an ongoing conversation about the meaning of love...it can become an easy thing to SAY all the while NOT being an easy thing to DO!  and i want my children to be able to DO love more than be able to say it, and i believe they will only DO love well, if i MODEL love well...so what does that mean?

2012 began well for me, inside, inside of myself...my only resolution was to not give or offer advice unless i was invited to do so...pretty much i think i stuck to that resolution, and man was it freeing!  not only did i feel a self imposed burden lifted to help others manage their lives, but the more difficult relationships in my life simply changed...i noticed i was actually invited in MORE, that people i cared about felt safer with me than i perceived they had in the past, some tested the waters by sharing life choices and were met with simple acceptance, it didn't matter if i agreed with their life choices or not, it was nice just to say, "thank you for sharing that with me" and MEAN it and then have a meal or continue a conversation or go do something together...i know i failed some, i know some people still don't feel safe with me, still don't feel loved by me...those people fall into 2 categories: 1)people i need to have more opportunities with to SHOW them my care and 2)people who are in such a place in their own lives that it wouldn't matter what i did or didn't do, said or didn't say, they are not ready to accept that i truly love them...both are o.k. with me...like a previous post said, "we are where we are and we are who we are and it's all wonderful"...it is not my job to move people, it is only my job to love them...(side note, we do not move people to new places, nor do we present big spaces and safe places for them to realize their greatest potential when we choose to spend our time with them reminding them of all the ways we think they are 'wrong' in what they are doing, how they are living, or how they are thinking and feeling)...
i believe ALL our interactions with people fall into 2 categories...what we choose to offer will either knock others down or lift them up...that's it...no other options...it does not mean we can't have spirited and dynamic disagreements, but the words we choose to say (which come directly from where are spirits are living) will either be a punch in the face or buoy them until we speak again...one will leave them less interested in returning to us and one will leave them excited about sharing time again...(another side note; people wanting to return to us is NOT ABOUT US, but about reconciliation, it is about support, about sharing, about adding depth and meaning to our lives through relationship and building our little communities of loved ones)...i am guilty of leaving people with both those feelings i am guilty of giving life and, in some cases, taking it away...i am working on understanding love, i am working on becoming a whole person...end part 1...

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